Rounding the endcap of my local Walgreens the other day, I noticed something unusual. There, among the primary colors of the snack chip sacks, was a black bag. Not a usual sight.

Rather than being emblazoned with “BBQ!” or “Sour CREAM and Onion!”, this bag had blocky, alien-green lettering and no images, save the triangular Doritos logo. And the description was cryptic, to match.

Apparently, the munching public is to GUESS the flavor lurking within the bag.

I am, naturally, suspicious.

There is one of two reasons that the food industry doesn’t just TELL you what’s in the bag:

  1. It doesn’t really taste like anything found in nature, but they think people will like it . . . so let’s just have them tell US what it tastes like? Most popular entry wins!
  2. It tastes like something no one in their right mind would ever put with that food, and the only way to get us all to buy it is by making it a mystery.

This follows the latter theory.

For those of you who don’t like a spoiler, who want to read the rest of their post and then SOLVE the mystery themselves . . . that’s cool. I’ll put the actual flavor in white. Those of you “last-page-first” readers will just have to highlight that portion of the text. But, I’ll warn you brave adventurers: I have a darn good palate. I play the “what’s in this” game with nearly every meal/drink I consume. And there’s no WAY I ever would have guessed this. Thankfully, www.doritosthequest.com, another ploy to get people to try this by enticing them with a $300,000 sweepstakes, gives away the mystery flavor with a pretty darn easy puzzle, made easier with a number of hints.

The flavor is (drumroll please):
Mountain Dew. Yep. It’s as bad as you would expect.

The only other thing I will say to the brave souls who want to taste this is . . . it’s not good. The flavoring is weak enough that all you REALLY taste is corn, salt and citric acid.

Another bag going straight into the trash.

Rating: ♦ out of ♦♦♦♦♦.

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